(Final Segment, Segment 24)
And so in ending, perhaps I should write down some consolidatory words. Initially I had planned to not make a big deal of the last segment (I had also planned for the last segment to not be a very early one but look where that got us). Turning this reflective gaze inwards yet again approaches the event horizon of meta-analysis. This is my usual stance on the reflective gaze – it can at times be too reflective. Who likes to get caught thinking about themselves in public? That is why we pigeonhole ourselves away in the corner and think things through.
Irrespective + Regardless = Irregardless…
Fundamentally, the act of following a strict set of rules and instructions helps to give one a sense of structure and pacing to life. In most cases at least. In the beginning of this process I believe this sentiment held, but as I walked on and had to dig myself into the night hours, I began to lose bits of me.
The man’s thought patterns have been erratic recently
Swapping one routine out for another is never an easy task, and the nature of my instructions[1] is such that they present with an outwardly ordered skin. In truth, this schedule, that of the 24 segments split over 24 days, becomes anything but orderly as one wades their way through the mire of hours, minutes, and seconds, in a day. I feel like I have been writing for 24 hours straight at this moment.
Instructions
Instruct
The act of instruction has been a rather interesting endeavour to think around and through. Particularly engaging. Self-prompting and motivating – leaving a shopping list of actions for the use of a reader to approach the experience of the thing (if they so wished). Attempt to at least. Twenty-four days of the year suddenly occupy a significantly larger portion of pie chart pie slice than they otherwise should – enlarged ration. A natural process of comparative reflection and post analysis, these last twenty-four days are most recent, therefore they are the largest in my mind. At least, that’s what one would guess, but had I not engaged in this process, and were I not currently experiencing its crescendo, then I do not think that the grey matter would be enlarging the slice.
A hungry man sits stooped over at his wooden desk[2] in the early hours of the morning. He ought to be getting his rest.
While at times difficult, this process of planned-unplanned writing has also heralded a realisation in me for the intrinsic value of writing. Far too often have I written an essay or some such other work purely to satisfy a prescribed goal. In actuality, the process of writing is in itself inherently instructive and meaningful to one’s cognition and the ways in which one thinks. I.e. to appreciate the forming of an end product, and importantly how this forming impacts you yourself (the process driver), is more important than the final product. This paper functions merely as a residue of the self-reflection and hyperawareness that I have undergone in the last twenty-four hours/days. A site of intense selfishness.
[1] See ’24 Segments’.
[2] Light brown pieces assembled.