The National Egg Eating Meet, or NEEM as it is called by the altogether too serious competitors, is a highly prestigious event. Held every year in Soccer City, the smell of fried, boiled, and poached emanates from the stadium in an almost viscous fashion. In fact, inhabitants of the area report that the only time the smell eventually eases up is in a year from when the event was last held. This means that just as local residents can start breathing easy again, the next event is held, and the smells are renewed.
“The egg smell is revolting, I vomit every morning when I wake up and I’m greeted by it, that is if I could even manage to get to sleep with the pervasive stench sitting in my nostrils. But we are proud of the event. Pick out whomever in the neighbourhood and they won’t complain, I’d bet my life on it. We are proud that NEEM hosts with us. We make sure that no one ever complains, we wouldn’t want Wanderers to swoop in and steal NEEM from us, it really gives the neighbourhood meaning ya know?” Said a local.
NEEM has a rich and colourful past, full of tradition and culture. One should read into the acceptable and unacceptable protocols of the event beforehand; it is definitely no easy matter of just eating eggs. And rookies beware, last year an uninitiated entrant was booed out of the stadium because he asked for his egg to be scrambled. It was all he could do to cover his face and run as egg was hurled his direction and shouts of “Scrambled egg isn’t real egg!” followed him in his retreat.
All this said, please consider signing up. NEEM 2021 is looking to be an excellent event, with new and improved poaching techniques and even larger plates to facilitate a better, more comprehensive, capture of yolk runoff.
Email: NEEMtheeggeatingmeat@gmail.com
Cell: 076 889 56342