Ballet teacher Burnice

“QUIET!”

“GIRLS PAY ATTENTION!”

“DON’T SLOUCH!”

“MORE ARCH!”

“FALL IN LINE!”

“GO DOWN FOR PUSHUPS!”

“ONE! I CAN’T HEAR YOU, ONE!”

“SHAVE YOUR HEADS CADETS!”

“KEEP YOUR BUNKS NEAT MAGGOTS!”

Burnice is a fierce ballet teacher. Sure she only has a 10% success rate with her recruits-I mean girls that she teaches, but that’s the price you have to pay for glory in the break-neck world of ballet. The ephemeral dance form. Art in motion. Art in motion held up on bloody feet. I hear Burnice applies the weight of full leather couches to the feet of her soldiers. Pushing down on bone and tendon.

“Younglings are supple, have no fear.”

No wonder the feet are bruised and bleeding, broken down internally.

Work hard and strive for excellence. No one becomes a Prima Ballerina over night, no one that is, except for Burnice. Birthed into a bathtub full of ballet slippers, some say Burnice performed her first pirouette while exiting her mother’s vaginal canal.

“The excess lubrication did most of the work.”

“Don’t play coy, you are a natural.”

The first time Burnice stood up and took her first steps as a child she was said to be on point the whole time. Truly Burnice had the art inborn from the moment she took her first breath. And she was made a Prima Ballerina over night at the young age of five. Really she should have been granted the title at three but there were still a few nay-sayers as you might imagine. Jealous more than anything really. But by the age of five none could deny Burnice her place any longer.

After a hugely successful 15 years as a professional dancer, Burnice was essentially forced to take up her next job as ballet teacher and hang up the pink too-small shoes (from all the broken bones and torn tendons you see). And if you think 15 years is a short time, well that’s because it is. Have you seen what ballerinas do to their bodies? Nasty stuff really, it’s a wonder they last as long as they do.

And so, after an illustrious career spent sharing her art, her essence, Burnice retired at 20. That would probably be enough to make anyone a bit sour. If only she was as gifted in teaching as she was in dancing. You can’t have everything though I suppose.

“Tiffany darling, I AM ODERING YOU TO DISLOCATE YOUR ANKELS! It will pay off in the long run.”